I'm sitting here just trying to figure what has happened. How did it happen exactly? 2 years ago I was healthier than I had been in a quite awhile...several years, in fact. And I realize what it is. I'm still a slave to my emotions. Yes. A slave. Many of my friends do not agree w/ my belief that my weight issue is a spiritual battle. That's alright...I know it is. The devil wants me fat...he introduces feelings I really don't want to feel...and I fall for it. Every single time. The Lord waits patiently for me to lean on him instead of hiding away in a cheesecake...yes...an entire cheesecake! But, I put Him on the back burner. Well, no more. I can't. My weight is going to kill me. IT. IS. GOING. TO. KILL. ME. I say no. No more. No mas. I'm worth fighting for. I'm going to deal w/ the feels...no matter what it takes. He is with me at every step. He's already gone before me, I know that. He is paving a way for me. I just need follow.
I've decided that i'm going to give Weight Watchers another try. I know it works. I've tried Atkins....I just set myself up for failure because I have zero self-control. (for now...me and God are working that out) I've thought about going back to Metabolic Research...after all, I was most successful there. But until our finances are more stable, it's just too expensive. And then I realized....Weight Watchers gives me FREEDOM to choose. That's what i'm after, isn't it? Freedom? I no longer want to be a slave to my emotions. I usually wait for the first of the month...or the beginning of the week...no more waiting...i'm starting when I wake up! And then it occurred to me....tomorrow is Independence Day! INDEPENDENCE DAY, Y'ALL!!! I instantly thought of the motivational speech...I just have to share...here's my version!!!
"I can't be consumed by my petty emotions anymore. My heart and mind will be united in a common interest. Perhaps it's fate that today is the 4th of July...and I will once again be fighting for my freedom. Not from tyranny or persecution...but from oppression and annihilation. I'm fighting for my right to live. To exist. And should I win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday...but as the day I declared with my voice, I will not go quietly into the night, I will not vanish without a fight, I'm going to live on. I'm going to survive. Today I celebrate MY INDEPENDENCE DAY!"
More to come!